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Ladies, Stop Wasting Your Time

June 18, 2012

In business, and particularly in a small business where human resources are stretched to the breaking point, wasted time can be a big concern. But on an individual level, wasted time is time we can never make up, pieces of our lives eaten away.

As a working mom, I am very familiar with the strain of dividing your efforts between home and the workplace, as so many women are today. The pressure to be perfect at both, and also maintain a perfect figure, a perfect circle of friends, and a perfect spectrum of hobbies and talents is enough to overwhelm even the most put-together of women. And let’s face it, how often do we feel put-together?

I have a friend who is one of those women – by which I mean that she seems to have everything going for her.  She is a great runner. She is beautiful – sexy and fresh, stunning.  She stands out in a crowd. She is successful and smart and kind and loving. But she doesn’t see herself this way.  Someone said something negative to her that should have come off in the wash, but it stuck.  It somehow set off a chain reaction of other long-buried mines of doubt and delusion.  And now it’s like someone has replaced her mirror with a circus fun house mirror and she can’t see anything clearly anymore.

Maybe this is you. And you are wasting your life standing in the closet throwing clothes on the floor and feeling angry with yourself. Maybe you feel like no matter how much you do, there is always more that you can’t get to. Maybe you feel like you’re never enough.

Women are beautiful in so many ways – because of their character, their strength, their devotion, their faith, their wisdom, their perseverance. Why do we do this with our beauty?  We stuff it, warp it, minimize it, starve it, berate it, and then wonder where it goes.  I don’t want to be a 70 year old woman who comes across a photograph of myself from today, and weeps as though seeing this woman for the very first time.  I don’t want to cry over time lost, days spent worrying about nothing and time spent chasing something that I possessed all along.

So here I stand, on the periphery of my friend’s sadness.  I wish I could give her a better mirror, illuminate her from the inside out, so that she could finally see. Or convince her that other people’s opinions do not create what we are.  Or run with her, so far and so fast that everything false would be burned as fuel.

Our culture breeds such insecurity, it runs rampant across our femininity, taking hostages in its wake.  Let’s run counter to it, circle around the other way, surprise it, take ourselves back.

Be filled with joy.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 18, 2012 11:05 am

    Well written and so true Ashley. I will be passing this along to our single parents who desperately need to hear this message!

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